Category Archives: too!

This 9 year old voice is my trademark…

Everyone says I sound like I am nine years old. It’s better than the 5 year old voice I had before the tonsillectomy and what my specialist described as total reconstruction of my throat in 2008 when my tonsils swelled to meet each other causing me to not be able to speak at all. Just another one of the many auto-immune excitements in my life. When I went in for the surgery there was an underlying desire that my voice would grow up a little, that I wouldn’t be asked if my mom had given me permission when I called to order a pizza, and that I’d quit hearing “Can I speak to the lady of the house” when I answered the phone to a telemarketer. I AM the lady of the house, and I grew quite tired of having to promise people over and over on the phone.

The voice fits with the young looks, a very special and substantial gift given to me by my mother. I can’t walk around at my daughters school without being told I need to get to class. It’s all a complete package and I think it symbolizes how I feel inside – a 31 year old mother with a 15 and 11 year old daughters, grew up quite quickly in responsibility, but I think the voice and the looks matches where I think I should be right now.

So when Ciaomom hosted a linky and provided me the writing prompt of things I like about myself, this was one of the few things that popped in to my mind. It’s also one of the very few things that doesn’t change from time to time.

When dialing up an old friend, there’s never the awkwardness of having to announce who I am — I hear multiple times the line “I would have recognized that voice anywhere”. Which is great unless you’re trying to make prank calls.

It’s nothing I can change, though I’ve tried to with surgery, but I’m sure I’d be disappointed had I have awoke from that surgery sounding anything older than an elementary kid just trying to find her way through multiplication tables and school lunches. This tiny voice I own is large. It gets me what I want with my husband and parents – a little whine here, and it’s usually mine. It can be stern if it needs to be, when demanding a refund or convincing my kids to do their chores, it can comfort a sick child, it can be there for a friend. It’s something that has been with me my whole life and is a trademark to who I am.

Coming in a close second:
2. I like my forehead. My family lovingly calls it a fivehead due to it’s prominence on my head, but it’s a pretty sweet head.
3. I like my feet. Though one of them is a little dented from the benign fasciculation syndrome, I still think they’re pretty — I like to believe I could be a foot model (at least for a medical article, right?)
4. I like my hair. It’s long length and blond just until you get to the top keeps me spending money at the salon to make it all match. I used to joke that I was calico. I love it, and I’m trying to embrace it before it all turns gray. Hey, at least at gray it has a better chance of being all one color
5. I like my willpower. Having lost 30 pounds in 4 months I have hit a small snag, but I like that inner voice that says “whatever Brandy, get your butt to the gym, fitness isn’t free” it keeps me motivated. Mostly.

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Gratitude. My First

I woke up pissed this morning. Even the way my pillow felt under my head pissed me off. Not in the mood to be touched or talked to, I snapped my bald lover’s head off. I haven’t even spoken to the kids much. Then I read Genie In A Blog’s post about gratitude and I grumbled a little.

Ok. Ok. I’ll do it.

Today I’m thankful for rehab, AA and my husbands willingness to commit to it. Even though I’m sick of being home alone. 🙂
I’m thankful for Skype so my daughter can chat with her boyfriend back home, thus putting off her asking me to move in with her dad to be closer to her boyfriend
I’m thankful for sunshine because the last time I was in this mood, there were 15″ of snow blocking me in the house
I’m thankful for my job, because of it, I get to stay at home every single day and be with my kids – and the fact that I pick and choose what jobs I take and how long I’m busy during the week
I’m thankful for the pain in my arms, because it means my work out at the gym yesterday was just right.

I’m thankful for bloggers who have a much better attitude than I do and cause me to stop and think and be grateful.