Category Archives: I get an opinion

The Otherside of Friendship

So, my regular readers may be quite familiar with the Sans Besties post that I made a few days ago – and the fact that my husband chimed in this morning with his thoughts on friendship (it’s in the comments).

I know there is another side of friendship. Because I see it all the time with my kiddos. In fact, our house is routinely filled with 4 sixteen year olds and 2 eleven year olds, something I’m quite fond of.

The 16 year olds hang out together constantly, they lean on each other when things aren’t going right, they study endlessly at our dining room table, they have sushi together, they shop together, they get on each other’s nerves, they say things like “tots adorbs” and “cutesy” and have inside jokes. They celebrate each other’s birthdays, they hurt each other’s feelings, but they’re there for each other. The four of them. From an outsider’s perspective they are four completely different individuals, but somehow they work.

A 16th birthday toast. Don't have a granny fit, it's sprite.

 

 Gabby’s friendships are maturing. They are much like mini marriages, there are fights and bickering, giggles, jokes, hurt feelings, laughing, singing – and there is time to grow them in to something really special but for now, they are hovering in extremes – from putting on way too much lip gloss and make up to seem more grown up to spending a Saturday morning playing hide and seek and karaoking, talking about boys, playing m.a.s.h but still sleeping with their stuffed animals.

Gabby (right) and her friend. Bows and lipgloss.

I’m grateful for both ages and stages of friendship in this house and I hope they never get to the kermudgenly grumpy old age that I am in friendships.

And I hope they never quit filling this home with kids.
 

It’s Oklahoma, but we do not all have donkeys

We’re in Oklahoma – we had an earthquake. And unless you live under a rock I’m sure you’ve heard about it.

But I honestly hate what you’ve heard.

It pisses me off.

I’ll be the first to admit that I get all sorts of adrenaline about Earthquakes, and a 5.8 is mild enough to keep our homes and families alive but strong enough to feel the earth quiver.

But OMG the freaking media and what they leak out.

Idiots.

I’m going to paraphrase so I don’t have to quote sources, because I don’t want to give any high-fives to any of the media who did this crap, unless that high-five is to the back of their heads.

First I absolutely posted to facebook about my excitement about the Earthquakes. Maybe two or three times. Maybe more. But within minutes there are photos of lawn-chairs knocked over in a yard with a title similar to “Oklahoma Earthquake, we will survive” or “we will rebuild” or “we will never forget” or whatever. And I can take a joke, make light of a situation, I agree. I giggled a little, but before I knew it EVERYONE was posting it on facebook and it was viral before long the image had been edited into something not even funny and out-of-state tweeters were passing it back and forth with us being the butt of the joke.

Then there are news reports about how a television fell of the wall and woke someone up during the earthquake.

But the worst thing to go viral on my twitter and news feed is something about how one resident felt the shimmer of the earth and thought his neighbors Donkey got out and was ‘scratchin’ on the trailer.

When I read that, my face boiled.

The news reports show perfectly NORMAL men and women standing around being interviewed afterwards but the only one they air? The guy with no shirt,  no shoes, big old belly with a big cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a southern accent so thick it was impossible to really understand what he was saying as they cut the camera down to his child (grandchild?) who was in nothing but a diaper. Plenty of clothed kids in Oklahoma but lets show the naked one in the cold to the world. GAH!

We are not non-english-speaking-ignorant-cow-mongers hanging out in a bunch of woods eating tree bark till our teeth fall out, nor are we all negligent parents who fail to watch the weather forecast before we dress our kids.

There can be a thousand great quotes to a news story and the damn media picks out the most red-necked quote they can find to broadcast.

Believe it or not, Oklahoma City is a nice CITY with buildings, and businessmen, towers, multi-level malls, eateries, Bricktown, nightlife, movie theaters, arts districts and well-educated men and women raising our families the best way we know how. There are cows and pastures and good old farm life around here too – as there should be, but they are good smart people that are ALSO misrepresented by the news. And yes, there are some crazy hillbilly and mountain folk and probably some sister wives amongst preachers and sinners and thieves. We stand outside to watch tornadoes pass over but we get a little startled by an earthquake. It’s a normal city, with normal people, and the things that our media leaks out for whatever reason does not represent the whole.

While I’ve not taken a poll, I imagine that the awesome farmers/country dwellers in Oklahoma certainly don’t want to be portrayed as ignorant people.

Our paid media spokesmen should really be ashamed of the kind of state they portray us to live in.

I’d never want to raise my kids anywhere else.

*disclaimer: If you are a negligent parent, and this post makes you mad… good! Go change your child’s diaper. If you are a farmer that supplies me with fresh eggs, milk, and wheat, you rock, and this post isn’t about you. It’s about the few rare gems that they feature on the news to represent us all the time.

(I’m a nice person, you just caught me on a bad day)

Also, I’m shaking my head mostly in silence at the outbreak of “Oklahoma Earthquake 2011 survivors” groups on facebook, etc now.

I know you want me to hate you, but no.

She is quite possibly the most unlikable soul I have ever met.
Glares and stares and self-righteous broadcasts. Parenting advice though she’s never raised a human, mouthy and rude to people, including two of the most important people I’ve ever known. Judgemental stares and awkward looks on the rare occasion that she acknowledges you and sarcastic comments at every opportunity. Though I’ve made every excuse under the sun for her and tried with utmost strength to be nice and build an acquaintanceship with for the sake of all involved – it’s apparent it is never going to happen, and  I recently began to feel that my Dr. Phil motives could likely turn Jerry Springer in 0.6 seconds. I don’t want that to happen literally or figuratively. Not for the sake of the important people I referenced above, not for the sake of maturity and Christianity…

So instead of fulfilling my 2007-2011 fantasy of a roundhouse and drop kick, I remind myself that the violence idea has never helped anyone be more likeable, especially me, and so I vowed to pray for her. I vowed to pray for her and I can’t.

Just yesterday my husband’s mimi reminded us that it’s the unlovable that need love the most, it came only hours before an interaction with the woman I write about, an interaction that sent 3 years worth of hard work and peace-keeping down the toilet.

I wish no ill will on her, I really don’t. And truthfully, one could take a whole lot of pity on her for the situation that she has gotten herself in to – I’ve been there. But I’m just too small of a person to start that prayer yet – so today I prayed to God that someday soon I could pray for her, like I am supposed to. I have child-like faith that it will work.

Check out lovelinks, link to a post, pass some love to others.

Dear Body,

Lets talk about the changes you’ve made without my permission. When we began you were but 6 pounds, and years later after the birth of each of your children, you held your own at a whopping 98 pounds. Your brother once jumped on you as the wind blew claiming he was afraid you would blow away, remember that time your mom asked if you were on drugs because your washboard abs and twig like frame were not that of a heavy-weight eater? Don’t you get jealous of those with a muffin top now that you have an entire loaf? Don’t you miss the girly curves instead of the mountain of fat? Don’t you realize that the fact that you have to lean forward to peer over your belly to view the scale causes the scale to shift and add five pounds. At least.

Remember how when I was asked if I was pregnant and responded with “no, I just had a baby…11 years ago” and I thought it was funny but you sucked in your tummy in shame? Do you enjoy the stares when we have a nice beer in public — how could that PREGNANT woman be drinking? No? Me either.

Remember how your husband bought you that gorgeous coat for Christmas and you couldn’t wrap it around your whale frame? And how hard you worked to drop those 25 pounds just so that heavy coat would fit…right in time for summer? Then you stopped losing weight because you’re stubborn, and because I like to eat the whole plate of brownies all at once “while they’re fresh”? I know this conversation is rough to have just days before we head off to vacation, but I think it’s important that you keep in mind that things need to change. So for visual instruction, please take heed –

Here’s where we were…

 

SO here’s where we are…

and here’s where we need to be….

Free Baby – Winners Drawn Monthly?

I’m not going to lie, what drew me to this top news story is the fact that I want another baby but I can’t have one due to having congestive heart failure twice with pregnancy — I’m weird like that – but this doesn’t apply to me because we would have to adopt. After I got to reading on the subject on many sites, and all the controversy that it entails, I’m pretty certain that I’d be all for it if I was one of those couples who couldn’t have a child and needed costly and unguaranteed in-vitro fertilization.

Launching on July 30th a UK Company is offering something I have never heard of, but see no problem with: for only $32 bucks entrants can purchase a chance to win $25,000 of in-vitro treatments and the stay in a fancy schmancy hotel with a personal limo driver to take them to and fro their treatments. A winner will be selected monthly, thus potentially helping 12 families a year with conceiving a child without the extreme cost.

The controversy in Britain stems from organizations and officials believing that it’s inappropriate to offer a chance to win something that is so personal and something we should show sympathy for, after all, these people are desperately trying to have a baby and they think a contest is making light of it. I think the contest is helping people who can’t typically afford $25,000+ in painful medical treatments that may or may not work.

It’s not like the organization has a basket of babies in the closet and are giving them away monthly.

Where do you stand on this? Shed some light I’m always willing to admit where I stand corrected.