I know they aren’t much to look at – simple little basic journals, with symbols on the front that really don’t symbolize anything at all, the UPC on the back shows a dollar general code, reminisent of a time in my life when all I could afford was dollar store. These journals were purchased in 2002, making me 22 years old at the time, with two children.
In late 2000 I had fallen pretty terribly ill, and hadn’t done much recovering, I was feeling awful, and questioning if I would live to see the girls grow up. In a last ditch effort to be there for them, I purchased these journals and begin to write to them on a regular basis
“Gabby: Today you looking into the full length mirror in my bedroom and delighted you said “mommy, I’m so big now, I go all the way from the floor to my head!” – 06/04/2003
“Grace: Today when I was slightly short tempered, you asked me in your small voice if I still liked you, and like a complete smack in the face I realized how hurtful words can be to such a sweet spirit. Of course I like you. I love you, and I appreciate you reminding me that my actions affect others”. – 06/17/02
Though when I purchased these journals I thought I would fill them up with all sorts of things from how to choose a man to marry to how to make my pot roast, all of the things you want to pass on to your kids, all of the things that in that time I was unsure I would be able to do. Instead it turned into occassional updates garnished with emotions and coupled with mild life advice from mom. I’ve been writing in them since 2002 – nearly 10 years. I always know exactly where they are, and sometimes when I fear the kids are getting too big for mommy, I sit and read the passages to remind me of the days when they were young.