I know you want me to hate you, but no.

She is quite possibly the most unlikable soul I have ever met.
Glares and stares and self-righteous broadcasts. Parenting advice though she’s never raised a human, mouthy and rude to people, including two of the most important people I’ve ever known. Judgemental stares and awkward looks on the rare occasion that she acknowledges you and sarcastic comments at every opportunity. Though I’ve made every excuse under the sun for her and tried with utmost strength to be nice and build an acquaintanceship with for the sake of all involved – it’s apparent it is never going to happen, and  I recently began to feel that my Dr. Phil motives could likely turn Jerry Springer in 0.6 seconds. I don’t want that to happen literally or figuratively. Not for the sake of the important people I referenced above, not for the sake of maturity and Christianity…

So instead of fulfilling my 2007-2011 fantasy of a roundhouse and drop kick, I remind myself that the violence idea has never helped anyone be more likeable, especially me, and so I vowed to pray for her. I vowed to pray for her and I can’t.

Just yesterday my husband’s mimi reminded us that it’s the unlovable that need love the most, it came only hours before an interaction with the woman I write about, an interaction that sent 3 years worth of hard work and peace-keeping down the toilet.

I wish no ill will on her, I really don’t. And truthfully, one could take a whole lot of pity on her for the situation that she has gotten herself in to – I’ve been there. But I’m just too small of a person to start that prayer yet – so today I prayed to God that someday soon I could pray for her, like I am supposed to. I have child-like faith that it will work.

Check out lovelinks, link to a post, pass some love to others.

13 responses to “I know you want me to hate you, but no.

  1. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I’m glad you have this space for writing out your feelings and sharing them with others who may be able to help you feel better about it.

    Thanks for linking up with lovelinks! How did you find us?

  2. Those words when applied to my children really get me through some serious tantrums… it’s when they are at their worst that they need your love the most.

    So glad you found this outlet and lovelinks!! Looking forward to hearing more from you!

  3. That woman you speak of might be from my old neighborhood! LOL ;^) Girl – I’ve been there. More times than I care to think about. Women can be vicious nasty jealuos beings. That’s probably why I’ve always had more guy friends than girlfriends. I don’t deal well with pettyness! You have the right attitude about it though. Best of luck to you and your future encounters with this individual.

  4. I think I wrote this about my mother… wait, no… I could have written about my mother but I’m still getting ready to pray for being able to pray.

    You have a fantastic way with words. I found this piece so incredibly relatable. And I hope your situation takes a dramatic turn for the better super soon 🙂

  5. I agree w Jamie up there – it’s when they’re at their worst they need us the most.
    Thank God for blogs, huh?
    PS: I love how you can go from Dr. Phil style to Jerry Springer on a dime. I could do that too!

  6. Eeks. You’re not talking about me, are you? Wait. No. We haven’t met yet. Whew! I hope you are able to pray for her, and you are a bigger person than I.

  7. I struggle with this myself. I have some very bad feelings toward an old employer, I hold lots of hate in my heart for him still, after almost four years! I know I should forgive him but it’s so hard. Like you said, I’m still too small of a person, but I ask God all the time to help me get that hate from my heart. So sorry you’re going through this, but mimi is right.

    • Thanks. It really does stink to struggle with this. I keep thinking about how I am allowing her to control me by the hatred. It will work itself out for us both.

  8. This is the first time I’ve happened upon your site, and boy, can I relate. I spent nearly four years praying that the Lord would forgive someone through me, because I didn’t have it in me to do it. Keep praying. He hears you. And, in time, He will enable you to pray for her.

    • Thank you. It’s baby steps for me. I refuse to hate her, but it’s not always easy! Thanks for coming by! I visited and bookmarked thatbaldchick earlier today!

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